Gallup research suggests around half of employees who resign do so to get away from their manager, not the role. But it isn't always bad leadership. Often, it's simply difference — and there's more you can do about that than you might think.
Let’s start with a workplace truth that’s been floating around organisations for years — and turns out to be backed up by research.
People don’t usually leave companies. They leave managers.
Gallup research suggests that around half of employees who resign do so to get away from their manager, rather than the role itself.
Which makes sense when you think about it.
Work is relational. The quality of your day-to-day experience is shaped less by the organisation’s strategy and more by the people you interact with every day.
If your relationship with your boss feels tense, draining or confusing, everything else about the job tends to feel harder.
But here’s the reframe we don’t talk about enough.
It isn’t always bad leadership. Often, it’s simply difference.
”I Don’t Like My Boss” (And They Might Not Get You Either)
Sometimes the tension between a manager and their team member isn’t about competence or intent.
It’s about different ways of thinking and working.
Your boss might want decisions immediately, while you prefer time to reflect. They might focus heavily on results, while you care deeply about relationships. They might love process and detail while you’re thinking, “Can we zoom out for a moment?”
Sound familiar?
These kinds of clashes rarely come from bad intentions. More often they come from psychological preferences — the different ways people communicate, prioritise and respond under pressure.
But without a shared language to talk about those differences, teams often default to labels.
“They’re intimidating.” “They’re too emotional.” “They micromanage.” “They’re disengaged.”
Which, as you might imagine, doesn’t exactly encourage productive conversations.
When You’re Stuck
Let’s be honest. You don’t always get to choose your boss.
Sometimes you’re in a role for a particular season of your career. Sometimes changing jobs isn’t an option right now. And occasionally you find yourself working for a leader you wouldn’t exactly have voted for.
In those situations, the most useful thing isn’t to endure. It’s to understand.
Specifically: what is driving their behaviour, and what do they actually need from you?
A manager who leads with Fiery Red energy — decisive, direct, fast-moving — probably isn’t trying to steamroll you. They’re wired for pace and results. The way to work with them is to be clear, be concise, and be direct. Bring solutions, not just problems.
A manager who leads with Cool Blue energy — analytical, thorough, careful — probably isn’t being difficult when they ask for more detail. They process through information. The way to work with them is to come prepared, to show your thinking, and to give them time.
Understanding those preferences doesn’t make a difficult relationship easy. But it makes it more navigable.
What This Requires
Working effectively across differences requires self-awareness first — understanding your own preferences and how they show up.
Then it requires curiosity about the other person’s preferences — not judgment.
And then it requires a willingness to adapt. Not to become someone you’re not, but to meet people in a way that actually works for them.
That’s a skill. It can be developed. And it’s one of the most practically useful things that comes from tools like Insights Discovery — not just a better understanding of yourself, but a better understanding of the people you find most difficult.
Most workplace friction isn’t personal. It’s preference-based.
The organisations and individuals that understand that — and develop the language to talk about it — tend to build better relationships, reduce turnover, and create environments where people actually want to stay.
Even when the boss isn’t perfect.
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