Mindset Practice: Why Self-Awareness Is Only the Beginning

We all have moments when we’re at our best.

We’re curious. Confident. Open to different perspectives.

We’re willing to challenge ourselves, try something new and have conversations that might feel uncomfortable.

And then there are the other moments.

When pressure builds. When somebody challenges our thinking. When things don’t go to plan.

Suddenly, we become defensive. We withdraw. Or we react in ways that don’t reflect the person we want to be.

Our knowledge and capabilities haven’t necessarily changed. We’re still the same person.

But something about how we’re approaching the situation has shifted.

That’s where mindset comes in.

And it’s why I think Mindset Practice offers an interesting perspective on personal and leadership development.

Self-Awareness Is a Starting Point

I’ve always believed that self-awareness is fundamental to personal development.

If we don’t understand ourselves, how can we recognise the impact we have on others?

It’s one reason I love Insights Discovery. Understanding our psychological preferences helps explain why we communicate differently, approach decisions differently and experience the same situation in different ways.

But there’s an important distinction.

Knowing how you tend to behave isn’t the same as being able to manage how you show up.

You might recognise that you become impatient when decisions take too long. But does that awareness help when you’re under pressure and somebody asks for more information?

You might know that you avoid difficult conversations. But does that make the conversation easier when you’re worried about the reaction?

This is where mindset development adds another dimension: recognising the habits influencing our responses and developing our ability to respond more effectively.

What Is Mindset Practice?

Mindset Practice is ‘mindset-led emotional intelligence’ and helps people understand the habits influencing their mindset, feelings and effectiveness.

It draws on emotional intelligence research (Daniel Goleman, Jo Maddocks, Tim Sparrow), neuroscience, and humanistic psychology (Carl Rogers and Will Schutz) to help people notice whether they’re operating from Survival or Growth and make choices that helps us show up as our best selves.

We move between them depending on our circumstances, experiences and habitual responses. In Growth, we’re more likely to be curious, open and adaptable. In Survival, we may become defensive, judgemental, reactive or withdrawn.

But Mindset Practice goes further than identifying which state we’re experiencing. It explores three connected aspects of how we operate:

• Be Curious: Our mindset and beliefs about ourselves and others.
• Be Present: Our awareness of our feelings and those of other people.
• Be Choiceful: Our ability to respond intentionally and act effectively.

Each has a personal and an interpersonal dimension. Together, they form six interconnected growth habits: Self Belief, Belief in Others, Present with Self, Present with Others, Personal Effectiveness and Interpersonal Effectiveness.

These habits influence one another. And importantly, they can be developed.

Growth and Survival: Two Different States

Imagine you’re leading a meeting.

You’ve spent weeks developing a proposal and you’re confident you’ve found the right approach. Then somebody challenges your recommendation.

You might respond with curiosity. You ask what concerns them, explore their perspective and consider whether you’ve missed something.

You’re open to the possibility that their challenge could improve the outcome.

That’s an example of Growth.

But imagine a different reaction.

You immediately defend your proposal. You interrupt. You interpret the challenge as criticism of your competence.

That’s an example of Survival.

The situation hasn’t changed. But your mindset has influenced how you’ve interpreted and responded to it.

And that difference matters because mindset influences how we communicate, collaborate, make decisions and lead.

Be Curious: What Do You Believe About Yourself and Others?

The first element, Be Curious, is underpinned by Self Belief and Belief in Others.

Confidence in ourselves doesn’t automatically mean we have confidence in other people. And believing in others doesn’t necessarily mean we believe in ourselves.

Mindset Practice explores this through the Mindset Grid, which considers four positions:

Growth: I’m OK, You’re OK. We accept ourselves and others, remain open to challenge and believe we can grow together.

Critic: I’m OK, You’re Not OK. We may become overly critical, value our perspective above others or try to dominate. I grow first.

Dependent: I’m Not OK, You’re OK. We may seek reassurance, avoid conflict or give away control. You grow first.

Stuck: I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK. We may feel powerless, become critical of ourselves and others, or withdraw. We’re going nowhere.

These aren’t permanent personality labels. They’re patterns that help us understand how our beliefs influence our mindset.

For leaders, this can be revealing.

Somebody might appear confident but struggle to trust their team’s judgement. Another might encourage everyone else while constantly questioning their own capability.

Growth isn’t simply about believing in yourself. It’s about developing belief in yourself AND others.

Be Present: What Happens to Our Feelings?

The second element, Be Present, explores our relationship with feelings, both personally and interpersonally. Its two habits are Present with Self and Present with Others.

In Growth, we’re better able to recognise our feelings and explore them constructively. That doesn’t mean we never experience frustration or anxiety. It means those feelings don’t have to dictate our response.

In Survival, we may become overwhelmed and reactive, or disconnect from what we’re feeling altogether.

Think about a difficult conversation.

Somebody says something uncomfortable. You notice frustration rising. Your instinct is to interrupt or defend yourself.

Being present creates an opportunity to recognise that reaction and remain engaged rather than responding automatically.

And what about the other person?

Are we genuinely listening, or are we so focused on our own reaction that we’ve stopped paying attention to theirs?

How we manage our feelings affects the people around us. That’s particularly important in leadership.

Be Choiceful: How Do We Respond?

The third element, Be Choiceful, connects awareness with action through Personal Effectiveness and Interpersonal Effectiveness.

In Growth, we might speak honestly, offer solutions, take responsibility or step outside our comfort zone.

In Survival, we might become guarded, avoid conflict, blame others or repeat familiar behaviours even when they aren’t helping.

Imagine a manager who needs to address a performance issue.

They understand the importance of feedback. They know avoiding the conversation isn’t helping anybody. But they’re worried about upsetting the employee.

So they put it off.

Again.

The issue isn’t necessarily a lack of knowledge. It’s whether they can make a constructive choice despite the discomfort.

Being choiceful doesn’t mean every decision will be perfect. It means becoming more intentional rather than simply repeating a familiar habit.

Why These Habits Work Together

What I find interesting about Mindset Practice is that these habits don’t operate independently.

Our beliefs influence our feelings. Our feelings influence our choices. And our choices can reinforce the beliefs we already hold.

Imagine a leader who doubts their capability. They feel anxious about being challenged, become defensive when questioned and start avoiding future conversations.

Over time, that pattern reinforces itself.

But developing self-belief, becoming more present with uncomfortable feelings and practising different responses can begin to change the experience.

It’s not a checklist of behaviours to improve. It’s about understanding how our habits interact.

Why Mindset Practice Matters for Leaders and Teams

A leader operating from Growth is more likely to remain curious when challenged, recognise others’ contributions and acknowledge uncertainty.

A leader responding from Survival might become controlling, dismiss different perspectives or avoid difficult conversations.

Those behaviours influence everyone around them.

Perhaps people stop challenging decisions. Perhaps they become reluctant to admit mistakes. Perhaps avoiding criticism becomes more important than doing their best work.

Over time, these patterns shape team culture.

Teams develop collective habits too.

When something goes wrong, do people explore what they can learn, or look for someone to blame?

When somebody suggests a different approach, does the team become curious, or immediately explain why it won’t work?

A shared language around Growth and Survival can help teams recognise those patterns without labelling individuals.

Of course, mindset alone won’t fix unreasonable workloads, unclear priorities or poor systems. But it can help people examine how they’re responding to the challenges they face.

Mindset Practice and Insights Discovery

I think there’s a natural connection between Mindset Practice and Insights Discovery, although they explore different aspects of development.

Insights Discovery helps us understand our behavioural preferences. Everyone has all four colour energies, Fiery Red, Sunshine Yellow, Earth Green and Cool Blue, in their own combination of preferences.

That awareness helps us recognise differences and consider how to adapt.

Mindset Practice explores the beliefs, feelings and habits influencing how effectively we’re able to respond.

Somebody might recognise that they prefer a thoughtful approach to decisions and understand that others want greater pace. But if they’re afraid of making a mistake, they may still struggle to decide when the situation demands it.

Knowing our preferences doesn’t automatically mean we can adapt effectively under pressure.

That’s why I see the approaches as complementary: one helps us understand our preferences; the other helps us explore the mindset habits influencing our effectiveness.

Development Takes Practice

Perhaps the most important word in Mindset Practice is practice.

Recognising a habit doesn’t mean it immediately disappears.

If you’ve spent years responding defensively to criticism, understanding that pattern is unlikely to change everything overnight.

We need opportunities to notice our reactions, reflect and experiment with different responses.

A workshop can create awareness. A profile can help us recognise a pattern. But change happens when we take that learning into everyday life.

The next difficult conversation.

The next unexpected challenge.

The next moment we notice ourselves moving into Survival.

That’s where practice becomes meaningful.

Showing Up More Effectively

I don’t think personal development is about becoming a completely different person or eliminating every unhelpful reaction.

It’s about understanding ourselves well enough to recognise when our habits help us and when they get in the way.

It’s about becoming more curious. More present. More choiceful.

That’s what interests me about Mindset Practice. It gives us a framework for exploring the beliefs, feelings and habits influencing whether we’re operating from Growth or Survival.

Because knowing yourself is valuable.

But learning to work with your mindset more intentionally is where self-awareness can begin to make a real difference.

Continue Reading

• What Is Insights Discovery?
• Self-Awareness: The Leadership Skill Nobody Can Outsource
• Why Most Leadership Training Doesn’t Work